Committed to Committed, Elizabeth Gilbert's Latest

By Christopher Edwards on 08/13/2010 @ 06:01 PM

Tags: Allies

My first introduction to Elizabeth Gilbert's passion and intelligence mixed with her dry wit was at our June Safe Haven Awards. There she spoke against the injustice of our broken immigration system on LGBT binational families. Intrigued, I dove into, Committed, her follow-up to her New York Times bestseller — and now motion picture — Eat Pray Love. In Committed, as described on the cover: "a skeptic makes peace with marriage."

Gilbert is the skeptic.

Once married but having been through a horrible divorce, eventually falling in love with a Brazillan-born Australian man -- a journey described in Eat, Pray, Love — she finds herself at the beginning of the book being essentially ordered to wed her boyfriend in order for them both to remain in the U.S. The two of them had been skeptical of marriage, intending to forge a deeply committed partnership. A partnership not bound by traditions.

Unfortunately when they were ordered to marry or live elsewhere by a DHS agent at the Dallas airport, her boyfriend was immediately deported. This begins, an eight month journey for them — living in exile, going through the paperwork, and trying to come to terms with a the tradition of marriage and what that would mean for them and their previous intention to stay unwedded.

Obviously having the option of marriage and the ability to stay with her partner in the U.S. is an option of which we binational couples only dream. She recognizes that injustice, and says as much in the book. She's very aware throughout the pages of her privileges and her biases. Her willingness to continue exploring while doubting and acknowledging her position is one of the endearing traits of her writing. Committed reads like the very best in first-person nonfiction: engagingly mixing research, scholarship, analysis with her personal journey. it is also a very strong overview of the Western history of marriage. Gilbert mixes elements of anthropology, her personal ethnographic research and commentary to break apart a lot of myths -- both from the political right and the left -- about what marriage in the West is.

I found her arguments about the changing nature of marriage and partnerships throughout history to be one of the strongest arguments I've read against the very idea that there is a "traditional marriage." She clearly shows that the reason marriage still exists as an institution is that it's imminently malleable: adopting to the times and needs of the politics and cultures involved. In reality then, there really is no consistent tradition. There's also a fascinating chapter written in response to a conservative British writers views on subversiveness of the family unit.

But I don't want to give to much away. Because I so much want you to read it.

In fact if you make right now a recurring monthly donation of $25 or higher, we will send you a signed copy of Committed. You'll be helping our families, while enjoying the work of one of our newest and most dedicated allies: Elizabeth Gilbert.